I was chatting to a colleague, and we were discussing the importance of
developing the art of persuasion. They had an interesting take. But I was
reflecting on my thought on persuasion since then.

We often talk about persuading and influencing others as an important leadership
skill set. And I agree that it is a useful skill set.

However, reflecting on the lesson from one of my earliest jobs as a care
assistant in a residential care home where I was caring for older people some of
whom struggled with memory and confusion.

I remember seeing other staff working hard to correct them always. Even at the
age of 16/17 I remember thinking how ineffective their approach was.

This was when I realized that we all live varying realities to some degree
and these older care home residents, just lived a reality that had greater
variance.

I would learn when caring for them, to lean into empathy and use that to understand
the building blocks of their reality. Often, I would find they were not always wrong
they were just communicating in way that took real care to understand.

And this was the lesson of this experience, to consider all those who share
the world with me to be people experiencing different realities to me and understand
how some of these realities would vary from mine, but the baseline should
always be seeking understanding through empathy.

Therefore, in a world where everyone is trying to show they are great leader
they are through persuasion, I recommend a different approach where you sit
back and observe as I think this is where we find a great understanding and
knowledge of the world and its inhabitants.

Future more, getting into someone else reality means you understand them and
can ask the right questions which may aid them in working things out themselves
and I found the strongest persuasive argument is the one the individual does to
themselves when they feel understood and not attacked.

More than that, it so much fun! Have you ever played with a young kid and
jumped right into their imagined world and had a blast?

Or even an acting ice breaker game ‘yes and’ where each game player has to
build on the previous players premise and ideas. It ends up with the wildest
and funniest outcomes.

I would go as far to say that the more you understand, the less resistance
there is to the reality of others and the more you find you can collaborate on a
joint reality or vision.